HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just cropdusted the office
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
