I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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