I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
