Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
