Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
