I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
