i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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