ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
In America we eat man semen.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
