So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
