She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
