How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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