...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
