so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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