i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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