now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
