Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
