shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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