he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize