When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
