i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
