I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
