u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
