he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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