This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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