I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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