I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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