no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
