It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
