Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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