At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
