shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize