yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
