My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i out mim tonsoeep
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