he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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