Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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