I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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