Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
