So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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