you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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