if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize