Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize