OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
