we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
