Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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