Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
