That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
