if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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