I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
