For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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