News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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