Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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