even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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