Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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