I hate all girls vehemently.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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