Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
