So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
