Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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