then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
