I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
