She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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