I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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