Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
