doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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