I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
