I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
