matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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